sleep devices for anxious people

2009

a. description: a sleeping device that will help relieve your inability to get a good night’s rest and to promote good sleep hygiene

prescription: for anxiety about facing the world in its financial crisis. This product is specified to the young professional or recent university graduate who is loosing sleep due to fears that they will neither find a job nor pay off their student loans.

application: secure suspenders tightly on your back. Allow for the rigid and firm structure of the sleeping device to inspire a confident workday ahead. By mimicking the look and feel of smart business attire, let your psyche be influenced. When you are ready to go to sleep, simply lay back onto the sleeping device and let this aerodynamic design position your body and back into a stress-free position. To further your successful sleep ahead, place both hands in the ‘thumbs-up’ position and rest them at your chest.

b. prescription: for anxiety related to an uneasiness with your sexuality. Also for those concerned about not being “the marrying type.”

application: fit bra straps and garter belt comfortably on your body. When you are ready to go to sleep, simply lay back onto the sleeping device and let this aerodynamic design position your body and back into a stress-free position. For increased effectiveness, make sure to open your legs wide, allowing the body to recognize that you are ready to receive. This action will train your muscle memory so that you may ease into this position again when the time is right.